


For What It's (You're) Worth

by NerdyNonbinary



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Astral Plane, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of Suicide, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 12:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16743778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNonbinary/pseuds/NerdyNonbinary
Summary: Magnus catches Julia up on life before and after Raven's Roost, as he tries (and fails) to be okay.





	For What It's (You're) Worth

The first time it happens, he’d been dead for three weeks. At least, that’s what it felt like. Time worked differently in the astral plane, but Magnus adjusted. It’s not like he would be leaving any time soon.

Julia just pulled a tray of scones out of the oven (she used to be a horrible baker, but when Kravitz pulled her soul away from the masses of the Astral Plane, she had plenty of time to practice. It’s not like Magnus would notice much, he never had the best taste buds), and he was sanding the finishing touches on a rocking chair (just like the one he made for Dad back home, the same curve of the arm and paw print carved into the headrest, but so much more refined, nearly 100 years of skill poured into the grain), and he was recounting his perilous adventure through the Goldcliff Trust.

“So we had this brilliant plan all mapped out, and then Taako had to go and grab my belt,  _ like an idiot _ , and pull my pants down. And then he falls, but before the vines get to him, he casts some spell and poofs outta existence. So now Taako’s a disembodied voice, my dick is out, and this all coulda been avoided if he cast the damn spell sooner.” Julia lets out a laugh, almost dropping the scones on the floor, and Johan takes the moment of distraction to grab one off the tray and slip through her legs and out the back door.

“Johan! Bad boy!” she calls after him, but there’s no trace of anger in her smile. Magnus chuckles and looks back at the chair.

“But here’s the thing. This whole fiasco, facing a life-or-death moment with my pants at my ankles, all of it… this was the first time the three of us had worked together, really. Like sure, we’d been alongside each other, but it was just me swinging Railsplitter, Taako throwing some spells around and Merle doing… nothing usually, but Merle being Merle. But here, the three of us strategized, we talked, even if it failed in the end, we were a team, and…” Magnus trailed off, and the white noise of sandpaper on wood cut out, leaving the room eerily quiet.

Julia looked at her love with concern, his hunched back hiding his face. “Magnus, sweetheart, is everything o-”

“I’m good!” He interrupted. “Just a bit tired. Too into the zone, y’know? I’m gonna lie down for a little bit.” He stood, grabbing a scone and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Delicious as always, Jules.”

“You haven’t even tried it yet!”

“True, but everything you make is delicious. You’re the best baker I’ve ever met, and I’d tell Taako that to his face!” They both laughed as he left the room, but it was clear he was avoiding some issue. She knew him too well to believe the saccharine shtick he was putting on. He spent so much time worrying about others, bleeding heart that he was, but he had trouble letting anyone help him. She new better than to push the issue, but she hoped he’d tell her what was bothering him so much.

* * *

The next time was less sudden, and Julia thought she was starting to catch on. When Magnus revealed who was singing the song of the crystal kingdom, of the scientist Lucas and his journey to attempt to revive his mother, she could hear the pain in his voice, how he hesitated and stumbled over his words, the storyteller within him dying down.

“Magnus, you don’t need to tell me everything if it’s going to hurt you.” She tells him after he tells of Lucas letting his mother go, and he had blinked back tears. “I don’t need to know every moment of your life’s story, it’s not like you know all of mine.” She grabs his hand and places a gentle kiss on it.

A silence lingers between them, and Julia is afraid he’s going to leave, to isolate himself to stop others from seeing him be vulnerable and offering help. But after an eternity of silent companionship, he takes a deep breath and speaks.

“Julia, I don’t tell you everything because you need to know. I tell you because I  _ want  _ you to know, so I can talk about everything that happened after and maybe forget that you weren’t there. The Julia from before didn’t know I kept a collection of robot arms, or that some bat-shit crazy deals warlock collected my DNA, or how much I fucking love ducks! YOU still don’t know how much I love ducks, because I haven’t gotten there yet, and I wish I didn’t have to tell you all this because if you were there then you would just! Fucking! Know!” 

Magnus’ voice had started quiet, but had ended in a shout, punctuated with punches to the table that shook through the walls of their house. The echo of the final blow rang out, and Magnus stood before Julia could say a word. “I’m sorry I yelled. I’m going for a walk.” He left the room before she could stop him, gently shutting the door behind him. Personal space was difficult to find, on their astral island, and while they usually spent every moment together, cherishing each other’s presence, everyone needed a time to cool off, and neither of them were excluded from that. Hell, Julia secretly felt glad he left, so she could have her own space within the house, as he momentarily claimed the outside.

It was always difficult to remember how much of her husband’s life she hadn’t been there for. With those extra 100 years he’s vaguely mentioned, their years together were barely a blip on his timeline, yet he spent so much time just trying to make her proud. Guilt roiled in her gut. This imaginary weight she’d placed on his shoulders sometimes made her think he’d have been better off without her. But that made her more nauseous, the guilt greater, because how could she ever think that she and Magnus, who never forgot her, who she taught and trained until they were equals, who fought side by side, who had earned themselves an private space in the astral plane- but had she earned it, or him? Even if she hadn’t been there, he still would have lived those extra hundred years, and defeated whatever villain had nearly destroyed the universe, and he would’ve done it without the pain she and Dad and all the rest of Raven’s Roost had left him. Maybe he’d have been better off witho-

The sound of unoiled hinges broke into her storm of thoughts. Magnus entered and sat beside her, taking her rough calloused hands in his, and looked her in the eyes so deeply Julia had to fight the urge to look away. “Julia, I am so sorry for before. I wasn’t thinking and i just-” he paused and let out a sigh. “You know I’m not blaming you, right? I’m not upset with you for not being there.”

“I know,”

“It wasn’t your fault, but I don’t mind thinking about the past. I love that I get to share every single moment of my life with you, even the ones where we would have been apart.” He’s crying now, and Julia can’t hold back her own tears, and they hold each other in a blissful peace, ignoring the pain that loomed just beyond in their minds.

Julia pulled back and placed a kiss to his forehead. “I love your stories, dear, but it’s okay to take your time, and breaks. Kravitz told us we had plenty of time.” She smiled at him, and he returned it, his scars bright and resilient on his skin. “In any case, it’s getting late, so let’s pause, okay?”

He nodded, holding his hand out to lead her towards their bed. “Tomorrow will be a great one. I can tell you how I met my best friend in the whole plane.”

And maybe Julia’s guilt wasn’t entirely gone, but she chides herself, for ever,  _ ever  _  believing she and Magnus should never have met.

* * *

 

The third time it happened, both of them could see it coming from a mile away. Suddenly, Magnus had to backtrack through 100 years worth of memories, and though she could tell he had been preparing himself for this moment, he barely made it through the first cycle before breaking down. Sobs racked his body as he told her how he stayed on the first plane, prepared to die before their mission had truly even begun. She rubbed his back, waiting for him to catch his breath, and she could tell the next days would be a difficult journey for both of them, but her husband especially.

After a time, his choked sobs became hiccups, and he was able to speak again. “Looking back now, I can’t believe I threw my life away like that. I was stupid, I was impulsive, ridiculously so, but… the Magnus from that first cycle didn’t have anything to live for.” The power of those words struck a silence between them. Julia wanted to say something, to reassure him, but she didn’t know him back then. She couldn’t say whether that Magnus, fresh off his own plane, would have have any reason to keep on living. And that terrified her.

Magnus kept going, breaking through the stifling silence, pausing often under long and heavy breaths. “But I stayed, and I watched the Starblaster fly off. And I made sure every single last cub I could find was hidden away, so, when they got eaten, at least they didn’t have to watch. But I did. I fought off the shadows as long as I could, and I watched the Hunger come closer, and then I was gone.” The quiet was suffocating now, and Julia realized she hadn’t taken a breath since Magnus started talking again. She took in a deep lungful, trying to calm her trembling lungs for her husband’s sake. He was the one going back to those horrible memories for her. 

Almost as if reading her mind, he said, “Jules, it’s okay if you’re upset. This isn’t a happy part of the story. You don’t have to be strong for me.”

She let out a hoarse laugh, tears beginning to build in her eyes. “I thought you said you never learned any magic. How’d you know what I was thinking?”

He chuckled softly. “When you’re friends with lug heads like Taako and Merle, you gotta pick up on that kinda thing. Those two couldn’t process their emotions if their lives depended on it.” Julia squeezed his hand, and the pair returned to a more comfortable silence, taking in the cabin that housed the rest of their lives (or deaths). 

“Julia, are you mad at me?”

She whipped around to face Magnus, who was smiling at her even as tears continued to stream down his face. She scoffed weakly. “Why in this damn plane would I hate you?”

He laughed, and a few more tears fell. “I mean, back when I joined the IPRE, I was just looking to be a hero, some fancy cause to die for. I was practically suicidal. I would understand if that upset you.”

Julia stared at her husband, mouth agape, before swiftly punching him in the arm. Not enough to hurt, but enough to knock some sense into to him that, hopefully, reached his head. “Magnus Terry Burnsides, why the hell would I be mad at you for that? I’m upset because I love you, Maggie. I’m upset because you weren’t afraid to die, and I’m so thankful that you had friends amazing to enough to live for.” He gazed back at her, before burst into laughter. She stared back at him, incredulous, before succumbing to his mirth and laughing with him.

“Y-you know,” he said, fighting for air between bursts of giggling. “When I was in that mannequin, and Carey started crying cause she thought I was dead? That’s when it hit me. That was the final swing of the hammer against my dense head to make me realize, people would be sad if I was gone.”

“That long?”

“What can I say? I was the only crew member on a scientific research team who couldn’t learn any magic. That has to be some achievement in stupidity.”

Again, the pair dissolved into laughter, holding each other tightly and trying to comes back to their senses, before one grinned and sent them spiraling back into hysterics. Finally, after an eternity, they relaxed, and pleasant smile on both faces still shiny with tear tracks, left by both join and pain. Wrapped in each other arms, they savored the safety of their home, the dangers of the past planes away.

“I love you, Magnus,” Julia whispered in his ear. “We all love you.”

“I know, Jules. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is both my first TAZ fic and my first romance-heavy fic, so feedback is welcome.


End file.
